so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
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