he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
