Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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