My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
You can't just leave with hair like that
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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