I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
