I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
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found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
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i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
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