He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
