and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
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