My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
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