it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize