Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
