Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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