I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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