The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Randomize
