We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
