I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
