Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Randomize
