Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Randomize
