oh god the rape fog is back!
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
