Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
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