Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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