I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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