Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
A bitchslap is in order.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
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