after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Randomize