Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize
