I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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