yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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