I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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