I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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