He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
