I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
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