Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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