Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
you never un-have a 4some
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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