i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
you mean i was at the winter classic?
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
