i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
