where does the pee come out of this thing
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Randomize
