very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
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