I swear she didn't look like that last week.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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