never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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