I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize