From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
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