There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize
