My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
