That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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