Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
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In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
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He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
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