i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
