We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
