I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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