I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
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