ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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