nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
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