I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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