I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Randomize
