I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
