But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Randomize
