I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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