I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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