I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
