you turned your livingroom into a bong?
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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