theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
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Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
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I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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