I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
tonight lets celebrate not being married
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
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